Slaying giants . . . It's just the beginning . . .

 

Slaying giants one step at a time . . . Or slaying Sasquatch, whichever one travels in your neck of the woods.  

Some people just seem to know right from the get-go, who they are, what they want in life, and how to live life with confidence.  Others of us take a long time to "feel comfortable in our own skin," or be truly content with how God has made us.  For me, the journey has been long and God is still doing construction on me . . . But He has helped me slay giants in my life that I never dreamed I could slay . . . 

During my high school years, my dad encouraged me to be of a mindset to set some "God goals," (he wanted me to think about using whatever talents God had blessed me with to serve others and share God's grace, mercy and love in whatever way that turned out.)  He encouraged my sister, my best friend, and her brother to create a singing group.  We were called "The Soaring Spirits," and although we never became famous (ha ha) we had a great time singing in our church during those years.  He also impressed upon me a work ethic and a "go get it," sort of mentality.  After all, we lived in the suburbs of Washington DC and every young woman needed to think about college and a "good job."  I set my course for business, even though I was an artist at heart. (I drew on every scrap of paper ever given to me and later dabbled in painting and other mediums.)  My high school offered many business courses and I became the President of the "Future Business Leaders of America" club.  To say that I really enjoyed high school would be a lie.  I was a good student and an average sort of kid, but reconciling my faith life to real life as a teenager was difficult for me.  I suppose it's like that for most young people.  I carried within me a HUGE conscience and a definitive God awareness that truly protected me from doing anything I would largely regret later on.  But I was always what I call rather insecure with who I was.  Any sort of teasing that was dished out in my direction cut me to the core.  I never let anyone know this of course and kept a positive front and a chin up regardless.  So I would say that deep down there was a "giant" that was hard for me to slay.  And, I would say, that I didn't overcome that giant until well into my twenties when I had to stand up and face the fact that what others thought (especially other women who can be down right mean to each other) didn't matter.  What mattered was who I was when I looked in the mirror.  Was the reflection what and who God wanted me to be?  If so, then what others thought didn't mean much in terms of who I really was to become . . . 

High school years meant dating (God love my awesome father who had three girls!!), and although I had only had one real boyfriend, my dad was quite discerning about the "right guy."  Even though he never used the term "right guy," he let me know what he thought about the "wrong" guy.  When he introduced me to the "right guy," I'm not sure if he knew or not that we would fall so deeply in love so early on or that we would be married one year after I graduated high school. 

Tim, who is four years my senior, was working at a job in Washington writing airline tickets for Senators, Representatives, Pentagon peeps and many other dignitaries.  I worked two jobs and attended classes at a local community college until I landed a full time job at big computer firm in the fast growing Rosslyn area.  I was 18, engaged to the love of my life, going to school, and working with thoughts of a grand life to come.  In addition to all of that we were very involved in our church.  We spent just about all of our free time with church activities.  One of those activities resulted in a Bible study with a varied age group of folks that met in the apartment Tim and a roommate shared (the apartment where we would live after we got married).  My job had become challenging and I was just unsure of what I really wanted . . . On our knees in a prayer group, a lady that had known my family forever, began to pray about needing someone to come work with her at a software association where she planned conferences for heads of companies like IBM and Microsoft.  (Yes -- God moved me in that direction and it was an incredible journey.  I got married in September and started my new job two weeks later.)  This was just as Microsoft was really even becoming a name . . . the year was 1985 and yes, I met Bill Gates before he was big.  He would never remember me as I was just the girl who helped plan conferences where these guys could talk about their plans for the future.  (I wish I had paid attention more and sat in on their meetings more.  No one knew then how quickly the future would change!  What a thing that would have been to maybe buy stock in those guys way back then.  Ahh well, hindsight is always 20/20.)  

Now here is the fun part of the story -- Tim being in the travel industry meant he traveled for free (on standby when the world was a whole lot different than it is now) and he got to go to many neat places.  Kind of cool for a back woods country boy from rural Maine.  (His story is awesome and deserves much to be written and I hope to do that in time.)  When we got married and I had to travel to fancy places for these conferences that I helped plan, he was able to fly with me and together we enjoyed adventures that two young people living on a tight budget never dreamed they would have. 

That time in my life was fun, no doubt, and getting to see and do new things in new places with my best friend and love of my life was truly amazing.  But still, deep down inside, I wasn't totally sure of who I was apart from Tim or apart from my job etc.  I prayed and sought God out, but not as earnestly or as intimately as I have since learned to do.  I think I, like many others, knew how to go through the motions of faith -- going to church and doing all the "right things." but not really "living" it.  It isn't about "church" or "doing the right things," it's so much more . . . and at that time in my life I think I really began to question it.  

As Tim and I grew as a couple we decided we wanted to own at least a condo rather than renting the tiny apartment on the hot third floor (where we learned to fight in the kitchen -- that was as big as a closet -- a newlywed thing that one learns . . . we were young had so much to learn and we did!  I'm grateful for that little closet kitchen where I would learn humility and the value of true love).

That next step would really mean slaying a giant . . . 

I will share more soon . . . but would like to leave you with a passage of scripture that was very important to me in those days (and I will share more about that verse and why it was so special to me).

"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12.

H.O.P.E.

 Well here goes . . . 

I've tried to do this "blog" thing so many times and always end up hitting the "delete" button.  This time I hope to hit the "post" button instead and that the words I share will be an encouragement to someone.

Just a brief note about why my blog is called "High Heels and Meadow Muffins."  When the two shall meet it's messy to say the least, but in the end you find the humor of it all.  Life is like high heels and meadow muffins.  You may "dress for success," be in your "zone," be "on top of it," etc. etc. and then . . . well then real life happens and you step right into the doodoo.  There are also times when you choose to dig right in and boldly step through whatever is in the path --- because sometimes what is on the other side of the meadow muffins is a beautiful pasture full of hopes and dreams.  A place where fresh air, mountain views and peaceful days are endless.  I was once a high heeled career girl who traded those shoes in for a life in the back woods of Maine where I quickly fell in love with farming, raising cattle, gardening, homeschooling, homesteading and even the smell of meadow muffins.  :)  (I will share more on that journey as I write additional posts.)

In this first post I want to share my view of Hope . . . 

Why Hope?  Because I feel like so many people feel hopeless these days -- which is such a state of helplessness and despair . . . A place that is dark and often full of fear and heavy burdens making each moment hard to endure . . .  

The Bible -- Yes, I did just say, the Bible (a taboo word these days I know, but I'm going there because it is where ALL Truth -- the only Truth -- can be found) says that  .  .  . "hope that is seen is no hope at all.  Who hopes for what he already has?  But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."  (Italics added for emphasis - verses found in Romans 8:24-25.)  

What we see in this dark world can never be unseen.  What we hear, experience,  know, learn etc. can't be unknown to us (unless you have amnesia or grow old enough to forget ;) ).  This world and this life is full of hopeless, helpless moments, but the hope we can have and hold tight to is unseen -- and yet it is the most fulfilling, peaceful, and joyous thing we can possess.  The only good in this life is God and His plans for each one of us are so marvelous we could scarce fathom them.  "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."   (Jeremiah 29:11-13)  

And here is the most awesome part of this . . . once you believe in the "unseen" it is then revealed to us in the seen!

No, I'm really not crazy . . .  I read this line in a Bible study book recently "How you see is what you get."  (From the Chosen, 40 days with Jesus Book 1)  When we have a different perspective on things we see it totally different.  Hope in what God's plans are for your life give you a whole different view.  You will "see" with new eyes.  Even in the darkness, you will see light.  No matter where you live,  where you are, or what your circumstances are you can see anew.  

Here are some of the things I see hope in .  .  . a newborn babies breath; laughter of an innocent child; clouds that roll by in a blue endless sky; sunrise of each new day (even when it rains); moonlight nights and starry skies; beaches; mountains; wildlife; birds; seasons . . .  My list is long . . . hugs; smiles; new opportunities; new chances; forgiveness; beginnings; endings; learning new things; trying something different;  and so much more . . . BUT all of that only gives me glimpses -- so I can see and understand that there so much more --- there is the ultimate hope . . . Hope in the eternal . . . Oh, how awesome Heaven will be . . . 

Hope in something even greater -- because let's face it, you could list a counter negative thing to all the things in my hope list.  This life is NOT all there is and I'm hugely grateful for that.  No one is perfect and we let each other down with each moment we are alive -- I'm convinced of that.  No matter how much you love someone or how hard you try, and they try, you can't do it -- not perfectly.  This world is CRAZY and full of things that counter hope at every turn.  Fighting, fury, wars, destruction, diseases, death, evil, cruelty . . . things that scar us, and take us to places that some can just barely survive.  We are offended at EVERYTHING, we judge each other, hurt each other, "cancel" each other, and so much more.  So to put our "hope" in anything here is futile. 

And before any impression is given that I lead a "charmed" or "prosperous" life, I will share that my road in the meadow muffins has been challenging.  I've seen times where bills piled up; kids were sick, appliances broke; money was scarce; harsh winters made wood chores extra hard and left us without power for days.  There were times when clearing our land to build our homestead dream seemed impossible.  There were days when I would get a call at my local part time job saying, "Your cows are out and the fence is broken."  There were days when I cried out to my husband and to God, "Why oh why did you choose me to homeschool my kids, have a farm, lead 4-H, and do this life!  I'm tired and so not right for any of these things . . . "  There were days when I wondered about the why and the how of each step and each new day.  We were "homesteading," before "homesteading" became a thing and if you had told me then that there would be blessings beyond my dreams, I would have told you that I seriously doubted that . . .   (More on our homesteading and farm life to come.)

But in it all, I KNEW that God would never let me down.  I certainly cried my share of tears in the tough moments, and I told Him of my frustrations, my fears, my worries . . . But you know what?  He, and only He can KNOW, really KNOW, really understand my every thought . . . He, and only he, can give my heart peace . . . and He always does . . . He NEVER, EVER lets me down . . . 

HOPE in the eternal . . . Now that is everything.  God will never leave us or forsake us and His love covers ALL . . . 

Side note -- one of my greatest joys is art -- and in the past decade or so, photography . . .  My husband (and greatest earthly hero), Tim does videography and I stick to the traditional still photographs.  We have a Facebook page and YouTube Channel called Dirt Road Pix, where we strive to share God's awesome blessings in nature and wildlife.  Check it out some time! :)  

H.O.P.E.